I am so glad I got my thoughts down yesterday. But as I was juicing this morning, I realized that I hadn't finished. One of the things that drives me absolutely batty when I read anything pertaining to "Self Help" is that I can be reading along, and in my mind I am saying "Yes, YES!!!! That's it!!!! This person totally gets my problem!!!" and then I turn the page, hoping for the answer, and the person says "I can't tell you exactly how to do this, as each person is different and unique, blah, blah, blah...." and I just want to throw the book at the wall and scream!!!!!! And so, I was thinking...I wonder if that's what I did yesterday, because I just didn't feel like I had finished well. So......
Green Lemonade. A couple of years ago, I happened upon the raw food movement. There are tons of books out there about the benefits of eating nothing but raw fruits and veggies. I think we are all smart enough to know that when you eat something that is alive, it gives you life. We study it in biology as kids. We watch it in the plant world around us. Those that follow the raw food lifestyle do so because it is good for their bodies and it gives them life. So, my husband I jumped into it with both feet, full of enthusiasm! He tends toward an organic lifestyle more than I do, so he was just quivering with joy. I bought a dehydrator, three un-cook books, and filled two fridges full of fruits and veggies. I made crackers, and salads, and "noodles" out of zucchinis, and cookies and dips and spaghetti sauces. Then the recipes got old. Some of them were downright nasty. And my enthusiasm waned and then completely stalled out. And I had a Big Mac and it tasted SOOOOOOO good. And I just stopped doing it. But one of the things I did continue to do, if sporadically, was make green lemonade. My kids even like it! It just tastes and feels so good when I drink it. It's relatively simple, quick, and you use few ingredients. Some apples, some green leafy veggie, and lemon. You can add other things, but the basic thing is lemon and some greens veggies. My husbands favorite is beets, carrots, and celery. My favorite is green apples, ginger, and celery. And, of course, lemon. And this is WHY: I tend to have issues with my gut. I've had my gall bladder out and I've been told I have celiac disease. When I eat gluten-containing foods, my stomach goes nuts. It is VERY unpleasant for me and the people around me, ahem. I have a book called "Prescription For Nutritional Healing" by Balch & Balch. I've been through two issues of it, I just love it so. And in this book, they take many diseases and ailments and give you both the standard (alopathic) treatment options and the Alternative (naturopathic) treatments, AND their consequences. So I can make a fully-informed decision about what I want to do regarding my family's health. It is the only book I've seen, written in lay terms, that gives you both options. So in this book, I found that for stomach ailments green apples and ginger are highly recommended. In addition, lemon has an alkalizing effect on the body, despite it's high acid content, so it is good for detoxification, the health of the liver (remember-I have no gall bladder, so my liver no longer has a bile regulator), and again, when a body is slightly alkaline, it can not harbor illness. I can tell when my body has gone acid on me: I have symptoms like indigestion, hemorrhoids due to a tough time eliminating, a sour stomach, head-aches, swelling, and lethargy, just to name a few.
When your body is unhealthy, guess what happens to your thinking? It gets really stinky! You start thinking things like "Every one else matters and I don't." And then your actions prove that to be true. You become a human doing instead of a human being. You begin existing instead of living. It is VERY exhausting to live that way. I've been doing it for several months now and I had begun thinking thoughts like "Nothing matters anymore." "These people would be just fine if I were gone." And my body began paying attention to those dangerous messages and I found myself in the hospital having tests run on my gut because of severe pain. There was nothing there! Scary stuff, people. Your body will respond to what you put into it: physical, mental and spiritual. I was on a merry-go-round and I had to get off.
We've been blessed by an awesome Creator, because He built into us the desire for self-preservation! He gave us a job to do, and we are the only ones who can fulfill our specific purpose! He will make sure we fulfill the job He put us here to do. Remaining close to Him through scripture, music, meeting with other believers is so very important, because it creates within us the desire to do His will. I have been SO FAR from Him these past two months. We moved and have been having a hard time finding a church home where we all feel comfortable, and I am STRUGGLING. My husband is struggling. And even though they don't say much, the children's behavior leads me to believe that they are struggling too. So we keep looking, but I think we are getting close.
So, I have had this whole wad of "STUFF" just sitting with me everyday, following me around from morning till night, gnawing at my soul. And God has poked and prodded me in the past two-three weeks to get up and get moving and get myself healthy again, because He has a job for me to do, and I'm the only one who can do it. I must take care of myself. It's not selfish, it's self-preservation. Because there is something greater for me than "this" that I'm in right now.
I see mom-types around me all the time. They aren't hard to recognize. They dress like me, I wear my hair like them, and few of us have taken the time to put on any other make-up than mascara. We are all just getting by. We appear exhausted and have a LOT on our minds. We aren't taking very good care of ourselves because we spend so much time and energy taking care of others. We are humans doing instead of human beings. We are worth more than that. You are worth more than that. I have a God who loves me immeasurably and He created me for more than that. It may very well be that being a wife and mother is exactly all He created me for....maybe I should appear as though I love Him for having done so.
So I started with green lemonade yesterday, because it refreshes my body, which refreshes my soul. Today, I think I'll buy a new tube of mascara. Because I'm worth it. I have a God who says so. I can't wait to see what He tells me to do tomorrow!!! I hope it's a cruise......
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Worthlessness and Green Lemonade
I pulled out the Champion juicer this morning. That sucker is heavy. I worried I would drop it on my bare foot. Because it is heavy and I could hardly lift it. I could hardly lift it because I am the most out of shape I have ever been in my life. I currently weigh more than I did the day I went to the hospital to give birth to my youngest....and you know how you gain more and more weight without losing it in between, the more pregnancies you have? So that's me. And maybe you.
So, I pulled out the juicer. I've been meaning to do it for months now, well...at least since we moved at the end of November. Because I did, after all, unpack it and find space for it in this postage-stamp sized kitchen I cook in. I had really good intentions. So it is two months later, and I pulled it out and I dusted it off, and found a home for it on my kitchen counter, which of course is prime real estate in this postage-stamp sized kitchen, in addition to the fact that there are surprisingly few three-prong outlets to choose from.
If you've ever attempted to be a raw foodie, or you frequent the Sonlight Forums, you know about green lemonade. The version I make includes two green apples, a "tip of the pinkie-finger" sized piece of peeled fresh ginger-root, a head of celery, and of course fresh lemon-about 1/3 of a lemon, yellow skin peeled off, leave as much of the pith as possible, de-seeded. I slice the apple into about six-eight slices, chop the celery into 1-inch pieces (if you don't, you have to unwind the fibers from the juicer shaft teeth), and then run it all through the juicer, running the pulp through a second time, just to make sure I get ALL the juice possible. I add some stevia, pour into a glass full of ice, and savor.
You might be asking yourself "What does worthlessness have to do with this?" Well, while I was standing there creating this glass full of yummy wonderfulness, I was asking myself why it took me two months to actually do this and the answer that came to me was "you are not worth the time it takes, or the cost of the ingredients, and who do you think you are taking the time and energy to think of yourself ANYWAY?" Because I'm a mom, and moms are self-LESS, right? We put everyone else's needs first, or in front of our own. We deny our own comfort, health, and well-being to make sure everyone else is cared for. We wear our selflessness like a badge of honor....all 198 pounds of it right out there in front for the whole world to see. We Proverbs 31 ourselves into stretchy knit pants because they are comfortable and they fit and they are better suited to the selfless chores we make our days all about. And we wonder why people, including our own families, treat us as if we are not even there. Well, why wouldn't they treat us that way? Isn't that how we are treating ourselves?
Do you routinely go shopping and come home with something for everyone else, and nothing for yourself?
Do you put everyone in your family first, denying that you need anything of comfort for yourself, whether it be the "good" coffee, the not-on-sale-but-far-cuter t-shirt, a longer hot shower, time for exercise, or knitting, or reading, or just sitting in solitude while listening to music YOU like on your iPod? Oh, you have to borrow your daughter's iPod because all your kids have them but you don't? hmmmmmm......
Do you then eat for comfort, attempting to fill the empty places in your soul....the places that are empty because you've given all of yourself away, and you've forgotten even how or where to find yourself again?
Has your "acceptable weight" threshold gone up through the years to a point where you feel helpless to turn it around, because what's the point anyway? Who would notice?
Do you wear the Proverbs 31 uniform of stretchy pants, over sized t-shirt, and slip on clogs, denying your beauty, sexuality, femininity, and self-worth?
Have you ever had the thought that that Chloe on the Mountain chick is full of crap, because after all, she's short and blond and cute and doesn't have a clue what my life is REALLY like? (disclaimer:she does, in fact, know what your life is really like. REALLY.)
Is your mascara tube so old that you can't even read the brand name on it anymore? Are your bra and panties so old, the little sprung elastic threads give the appearance that your undies need to be shaved?
Here's a good question: are you teaching your precious daughters to do exactly the same when they grow up? They are watching you, you know......
I do all of these things, all the time. And then I wonder why my kids treat me like crap at times and my husband seems not to notice me. It's simple....because I treat myself like crap and I don't even notice myself. I've set it up that way, and I've nurtured it, and grown it to what it is.
So this morning, I give thanks for my green lemonade, and the thoughts and pondering it produced. Just for today, it has nurtured my body, my spirit, and my soul. Isn't that what health food is supposed to do?
And I may do it again tomorrow. Because I AM worth it.
So, I pulled out the juicer. I've been meaning to do it for months now, well...at least since we moved at the end of November. Because I did, after all, unpack it and find space for it in this postage-stamp sized kitchen I cook in. I had really good intentions. So it is two months later, and I pulled it out and I dusted it off, and found a home for it on my kitchen counter, which of course is prime real estate in this postage-stamp sized kitchen, in addition to the fact that there are surprisingly few three-prong outlets to choose from.
If you've ever attempted to be a raw foodie, or you frequent the Sonlight Forums, you know about green lemonade. The version I make includes two green apples, a "tip of the pinkie-finger" sized piece of peeled fresh ginger-root, a head of celery, and of course fresh lemon-about 1/3 of a lemon, yellow skin peeled off, leave as much of the pith as possible, de-seeded. I slice the apple into about six-eight slices, chop the celery into 1-inch pieces (if you don't, you have to unwind the fibers from the juicer shaft teeth), and then run it all through the juicer, running the pulp through a second time, just to make sure I get ALL the juice possible. I add some stevia, pour into a glass full of ice, and savor.
You might be asking yourself "What does worthlessness have to do with this?" Well, while I was standing there creating this glass full of yummy wonderfulness, I was asking myself why it took me two months to actually do this and the answer that came to me was "you are not worth the time it takes, or the cost of the ingredients, and who do you think you are taking the time and energy to think of yourself ANYWAY?" Because I'm a mom, and moms are self-LESS, right? We put everyone else's needs first, or in front of our own. We deny our own comfort, health, and well-being to make sure everyone else is cared for. We wear our selflessness like a badge of honor....all 198 pounds of it right out there in front for the whole world to see. We Proverbs 31 ourselves into stretchy knit pants because they are comfortable and they fit and they are better suited to the selfless chores we make our days all about. And we wonder why people, including our own families, treat us as if we are not even there. Well, why wouldn't they treat us that way? Isn't that how we are treating ourselves?
Do you routinely go shopping and come home with something for everyone else, and nothing for yourself?
Do you put everyone in your family first, denying that you need anything of comfort for yourself, whether it be the "good" coffee, the not-on-sale-but-far-cuter t-shirt, a longer hot shower, time for exercise, or knitting, or reading, or just sitting in solitude while listening to music YOU like on your iPod? Oh, you have to borrow your daughter's iPod because all your kids have them but you don't? hmmmmmm......
Do you then eat for comfort, attempting to fill the empty places in your soul....the places that are empty because you've given all of yourself away, and you've forgotten even how or where to find yourself again?
Has your "acceptable weight" threshold gone up through the years to a point where you feel helpless to turn it around, because what's the point anyway? Who would notice?
Do you wear the Proverbs 31 uniform of stretchy pants, over sized t-shirt, and slip on clogs, denying your beauty, sexuality, femininity, and self-worth?
Have you ever had the thought that that Chloe on the Mountain chick is full of crap, because after all, she's short and blond and cute and doesn't have a clue what my life is REALLY like? (disclaimer:she does, in fact, know what your life is really like. REALLY.)
Is your mascara tube so old that you can't even read the brand name on it anymore? Are your bra and panties so old, the little sprung elastic threads give the appearance that your undies need to be shaved?
Here's a good question: are you teaching your precious daughters to do exactly the same when they grow up? They are watching you, you know......
I do all of these things, all the time. And then I wonder why my kids treat me like crap at times and my husband seems not to notice me. It's simple....because I treat myself like crap and I don't even notice myself. I've set it up that way, and I've nurtured it, and grown it to what it is.
So this morning, I give thanks for my green lemonade, and the thoughts and pondering it produced. Just for today, it has nurtured my body, my spirit, and my soul. Isn't that what health food is supposed to do?
And I may do it again tomorrow. Because I AM worth it.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Philosophy and my choice of ph's
According to the American Heritage Student Dictionary:
phi-LOS-o-phy n., 1. The study of the nature of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning. 2. A formal system of ideas based upon such study. 3. A basic theory or viewpoint. From Greek philosophos, lover of wisdom: philos, loving + sophia, knowledge, learning.
I am truly a lover of knowledge and learning. I often say that if money and time were no object, I would attend college all my life. Unfortunately, I do not have much of either, so my acquisition of knowledge often comes by way of the living of my life and the opportunities that present themselves.
I am married to a chemist, so I just happen to know that pH refers to the numerical measure of acidity or alkalinity, with neutral (or balanced) pH of a solution equal to 7. Physically speaking, a body that is just slightly alkaline can harbor no disease, and a slightly alkaline body pH can only be achieved by the consumption of good, healthy
ph(f)ood!
"7" is also known as the number which represents the divinity of Christ. I am unapologetically Christian and married, and I consider it a step in the direction of holiness to remain ph(f)aithful to my husband through the hard work of maintaining our marriage. I have a lot to say about the hard work of marriage!
Photography...well, duh...I LOVE taking photos of my family and nature. I love learning about how to make those photos optimal, through composing, equipment, and editing.
Ph(f)amily? Wow, you want to talk about the ultimate experiment in maintaining balance? This is an ever moving target, is it not? Without a doubt, the building and nurturing of my family has been the most heart-breaking and heart-rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. It is the "thing" I am most proud of, as it has been at times exhausting and exhilarating, like any experience worth having typically is.
Ph(f)un: well, you see, my husband and I indulge in wander-lust. We love travelling both near and far. Together, apart, and with our children. You will likely see many posts about our travels. Most of our travels are fun, but there are the occasional not-so-fun adventures that make for "funny" stories after the fact. Much later. As in "some day, you will laugh about this." I also enjoy sewing, reading, and homeschooling our daughters, so there will be smatterings of those topics.
For whatever reason, "ph" came to mind when I thought seriously about blogging, and since this is MY blog, that's what I chose. Stay tuned, I may change my mind. I am a woman after all, and as I understand...it is therefore my prerogative.
Be blessed!
phi-LOS-o-phy n., 1. The study of the nature of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning. 2. A formal system of ideas based upon such study. 3. A basic theory or viewpoint. From Greek philosophos, lover of wisdom: philos, loving + sophia, knowledge, learning.
I am truly a lover of knowledge and learning. I often say that if money and time were no object, I would attend college all my life. Unfortunately, I do not have much of either, so my acquisition of knowledge often comes by way of the living of my life and the opportunities that present themselves.
I am married to a chemist, so I just happen to know that pH refers to the numerical measure of acidity or alkalinity, with neutral (or balanced) pH of a solution equal to 7. Physically speaking, a body that is just slightly alkaline can harbor no disease, and a slightly alkaline body pH can only be achieved by the consumption of good, healthy
ph(f)ood!
"7" is also known as the number which represents the divinity of Christ. I am unapologetically Christian and married, and I consider it a step in the direction of holiness to remain ph(f)aithful to my husband through the hard work of maintaining our marriage. I have a lot to say about the hard work of marriage!
Photography...well, duh...I LOVE taking photos of my family and nature. I love learning about how to make those photos optimal, through composing, equipment, and editing.
Ph(f)amily? Wow, you want to talk about the ultimate experiment in maintaining balance? This is an ever moving target, is it not? Without a doubt, the building and nurturing of my family has been the most heart-breaking and heart-rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. It is the "thing" I am most proud of, as it has been at times exhausting and exhilarating, like any experience worth having typically is.
Ph(f)un: well, you see, my husband and I indulge in wander-lust. We love travelling both near and far. Together, apart, and with our children. You will likely see many posts about our travels. Most of our travels are fun, but there are the occasional not-so-fun adventures that make for "funny" stories after the fact. Much later. As in "some day, you will laugh about this." I also enjoy sewing, reading, and homeschooling our daughters, so there will be smatterings of those topics.
For whatever reason, "ph" came to mind when I thought seriously about blogging, and since this is MY blog, that's what I chose. Stay tuned, I may change my mind. I am a woman after all, and as I understand...it is therefore my prerogative.
Be blessed!
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