Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Worthlessness & Green Lemonade: Take 2

I am so glad I got my thoughts down yesterday.  But as I was juicing this morning, I realized that I hadn't finished.  One of the things that drives me absolutely batty when I read anything pertaining to "Self Help" is that I can be reading along, and in my mind I am saying "Yes, YES!!!! That's it!!!!  This person totally gets my problem!!!" and then I turn the page, hoping for the answer, and the person says "I can't tell you exactly how to do this, as each person is different and unique, blah, blah, blah...." and I just want to throw the book at the wall and scream!!!!!!  And so, I was thinking...I wonder if that's what I did yesterday, because I just didn't feel like I had finished well. So......

Green Lemonade.  A couple of years ago, I happened upon the raw food movement.  There are tons of books out there about the benefits of eating nothing but raw fruits and veggies.  I think we are all smart enough to know that when you eat something that is alive, it gives you life.  We study it in biology as kids. We watch it in the plant world around us.  Those that follow the raw food lifestyle do so because it is good for their bodies and it gives them life. So, my husband I jumped into it with both feet, full of enthusiasm! He tends toward an organic lifestyle more than I do, so he was just quivering with joy.  I bought a dehydrator, three un-cook books, and filled two fridges full of fruits and veggies. I made crackers, and salads, and "noodles" out of zucchinis, and cookies and dips and spaghetti sauces.  Then the recipes got old.  Some of them were downright nasty. And my enthusiasm waned and then completely stalled out. And I had a Big Mac and it tasted SOOOOOOO good. And I just stopped doing it.  But one of the things I did continue to do, if sporadically, was make green lemonade.  My kids even like it!  It just tastes and feels so good when I drink it. It's relatively simple, quick, and you use few ingredients. Some apples, some green leafy veggie, and lemon.  You can add other things, but the basic thing is lemon and some greens veggies. My husbands favorite is beets, carrots, and celery.  My favorite is green apples, ginger, and celery. And, of course, lemon. And this is WHY: I tend to have issues with my gut.  I've had my gall bladder out and I've been told I have celiac disease.  When I eat gluten-containing foods, my stomach goes nuts.  It is VERY unpleasant for me and the people around me, ahem.  I have a book called "Prescription For Nutritional Healing" by Balch & Balch. I've been through two issues of it, I just love it so.  And in this book, they take many diseases and ailments and give you both the standard (alopathic) treatment options and the Alternative (naturopathic) treatments, AND their consequences.  So I can make a fully-informed decision about what I want to do regarding my family's health.  It is the only book I've seen, written in lay terms, that gives you both options.  So in this book, I found that for stomach ailments green apples and ginger are highly recommended. In addition, lemon has an alkalizing effect on the body, despite it's high acid content, so it is good for detoxification, the health of the liver (remember-I have no gall bladder, so my liver no longer has a bile regulator), and again, when a body is slightly alkaline, it can not harbor illness. I can tell when my body has gone acid on me: I have symptoms like indigestion, hemorrhoids due to a tough time eliminating, a sour stomach, head-aches, swelling, and lethargy, just to name a few.

When your body is unhealthy, guess what happens to your thinking?  It gets really stinky! You start thinking things like "Every one else matters and I don't." And then your actions prove that to be true.  You become a human doing instead of a human being.  You begin existing instead of living. It is VERY exhausting to live that way.  I've been doing it for several months now and I had begun thinking thoughts like "Nothing matters anymore."  "These people would be just fine if I were gone."  And my body began paying attention to those dangerous messages and I found myself in the hospital having tests run on my gut because of severe pain. There was nothing there! Scary stuff, people. Your body will respond to what you put into it: physical, mental and spiritual. I was on a merry-go-round and I had to get off.

We've been blessed by an awesome Creator, because He built into us the desire for self-preservation! He gave us a job to do, and we are the only ones who can fulfill our specific purpose!  He will make sure we fulfill the job He put us here to do. Remaining close to Him through scripture, music, meeting with other believers is so very important, because it creates within us the desire to do His will.  I have been SO FAR from Him these past two months.  We moved and have been having a hard time finding a church home where we all feel comfortable, and I am STRUGGLING.  My husband is struggling.  And even though they don't say much, the children's behavior leads me to believe that they are struggling too. So we keep looking, but I think we are getting close.

So, I have had this whole wad of "STUFF" just sitting with me everyday, following me around from morning till night, gnawing at my soul.  And God has poked and prodded me in the past two-three weeks to get up and get moving and get myself healthy again, because He has a job for me to do, and I'm the only one who can do it.  I must take care of myself.  It's not selfish, it's self-preservation. Because there is something greater for me than "this" that I'm in right now.

I see mom-types around me all the time.  They aren't hard to recognize.  They dress like me, I wear my hair like them, and few of us have taken the time to put on any other make-up than mascara. We are all just getting by.  We appear exhausted and have a LOT on our minds.  We aren't taking very good care of ourselves because we spend so much time and energy taking care of others.  We are humans doing instead of human beings.  We are worth more than that.  You are worth more than that. I have a God who loves me immeasurably and He created me for more than that.  It may very well be that being a wife and mother is exactly all He created me for....maybe I should appear as though I love Him for having done so.

So I started with green lemonade yesterday, because it refreshes my body, which refreshes my soul.  Today, I think I'll buy a new tube of mascara.  Because I'm worth it. I have a God who says so. I can't wait to see what He tells me to do tomorrow!!!  I hope it's a cruise......

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